Sponge bath it is.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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