just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
