everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
