Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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