question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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