we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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