Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
