I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
