I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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