i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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