I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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