Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  we're blogging at a bar

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  (248): we're blogging at a bar http://tfl.nu/eoo1
  Replies (3) Good night (1301) Bad night (3156)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny

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  (978): it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny http://tfl.nu/hpxx
  Replies (17) Good night (840) Bad night (2643)
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  (213): View more from California

  Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.

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  (213): Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now. http://tfl.nu/tt7k
  Replies (8) Good night (4645) Bad night (684)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come

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  (574): i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come http://tfl.nu/d7fm
  Replies (9) Good night (5685) Bad night (795)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit

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  (773): I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit http://tfl.nu/6wkt
  Replies (12) Good night (9840) Bad night (1273)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months

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  (919): I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months http://tfl.nu/8o8f
  Replies (10) Good night (3061) Bad night (3755)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.

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  (651): No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep. http://tfl.nu/9hze
  Replies (8) Good night (2421) Bad night (787)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips

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  (813): I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips http://tfl.nu/x2sl
  Replies (25) Good night (814) Bad night (1400)
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  (516): View more from New York

  YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?

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  (516): YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!? http://tfl.nu/sc0r
  Replies (9) Good night (2072) Bad night (679)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance

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  (774): omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore.... (774): HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance http://tfl.nu/0qjd
  Replies (4) Good night (1972) Bad night (757)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day

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  (773): Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day http://tfl.nu/fpi9
  Replies (5) Good night (904) Bad night (1609)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"

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  (215): Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?" http://tfl.nu/i6qx
  Replies (2) Good night (885) Bad night (378)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.

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  (617): reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times. http://tfl.nu/epvb
  Replies (1) Good night (707) Bad night (277)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos

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  (334): alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos http://tfl.nu/jlgd
  Replies (0) Good night (433) Bad night (208)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.

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  (812): He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out. http://tfl.nu/a5km
  Replies (4) Good night (263) Bad night (103)

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