she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.