Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
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Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
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So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!