I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
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I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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