You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
