Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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