So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
