my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough