Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister