i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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