Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize