You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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