almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
As shirtless as possible
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
