thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
