hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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