You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
