That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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