I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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