Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
