the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
