Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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