a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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