I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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