I looked at my own cervix.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I have feelings that need drinking.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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