i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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