im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
