try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
