i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize