Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
