the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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