this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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