I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
