So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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