was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize