were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
