Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
