I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
