I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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