when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
