i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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