He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
