I'm really into asian looking animals
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
