A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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