mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
