Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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