If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
