So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
