Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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