How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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